A Day for Lovers?

Happy Belated Valentine Day!

I felt like I had love, when I was married, and I lost it. So now I could only relate love as far as a relationship with a man (boyfriend/husband) as hurt. When you hurt that much you become very guarded, some become bitter. I got to the point where I told myself over and over again I can’t love again and no one can love me the way I would want to be loved or the way I deserve to be loved.  Not only that, do I really deserve love again? Did I do something wrong?  I already had it didn’t I? I really started just infesting my own mind with all of these untruths. Then I started believing it  I’d heard the saying 'you only get love once in your life time'. I think for several years after my separation I believed that.

Valentine’s Day these past years has been like a nightmare. So usually on Valentine's Day I am all depressed, wishing I could call into work sick cause I just wanted to stay in my bed all day and mope. Hating to see all the lovers, the gifts and hearing about the plans.  I couldn’t be happy for them or share in their happiness. I would every year dress in all black and claim to be in mourning because I had no one who loved me like that anymore. Then Valentine's Day night I would go home and cry myself to sleep. It was awful!

What I learned through all those sad and lonely Valentine’s Days were a couple of things.

1. Don’t take your love for granted.

You never miss a good thing until it’s gone. If you are married or in a relationship value it, water it and pray for it. Yes times get really hard and unbearable but if you truly love that person work hard and appreciate them.

2. Love comes in all shapes and sizes.

I had to realize that even though I don’t have a male friend, boyfriend or husband who loves me, right now, I am blessed with 4 beautiful children who love me, my mother, sister, brothers, family and friends who also love me. In this season, I had to learn to be content with that. I have plenty of love around me and that’s more important than the material things because their love won’t fade like gifts.

3. Walk in it!

I can’t pray for my Prince Charming and not walk in it! I have to pray, let go and let God! I want the next man to be a godsend so I’m praying and waiting. In the meantime, I remember that God is molding in clay (me) so that I can be a much better wife next round!

4. Stinky Thinking!

This is a thing y’all! I am the #1 culprit of it! (As you can see in my statements above) I am always talking to myself negatively. You are not worth it, you can’t do that job, your belly is so fat, why is your hair so nappy, the list goes on.  But one of the biggest ones is there aren’t any men out there for you.

What a difference a year makes!

But God! This year on Valentine’s Day morning, my devotional was about this subject, Stinky Thinking.. One of things it said was “Today I need to ditch my negative self-talk. In the moments you catch an untruth slip from your lips, boldly proclaim you are the daughter of the King, beloved, and created for good works.” I jumped up out of my bed put on my black dress with red lips all over it, my red pumps, a little makeup and a smile! (see picture) I went to work smiling telling everyone Happy Valentine’s Day. Everyone at work was looking at me like what’s going on? Do you have a date? Who is he? They were reacting to all the years of me coming to work so sad on this National Day of Love. But I told them that I am walking in my truth. I prayed for it so I am practicing for when I can say that there is someone. That I do have a date. In addition, I was excited because my baby son told me he would be my Valentine and would go out to dinner with me. (Even though later he forgot and asked me if his friend could come over. Lol. But it was okay because he was willing.)

I wasn’t expecting anything more than the several text I got from different guys who I have met over the last several years. Some we have become friends, some who still may have a crush on me or like me but most will probably never pan out. Each text me and said Happy Valentine's Day and to some I replied with a thank you, being really intentional not to say it back because to me it is a day for lovers and non of them are my lover nor do I love them. Some others I asked do you know what Valentine’s Day is? A day for lovers. Do you love me? Most eluded the question. One said yes. But I know he doesn’t.

But God showed off on this February 14th by having a really good friend hand deliver a dozen long stem white roses to me at work. It was such a surprise that when the security guard, who is like an uncle to me and reminds me of my Dad, called me to say I had a delivery, I told him to stop playing, I argued with him and I told him okay I’ll be down later when I have my meeting. The beautiful roses sat down there for about 40 minutes! When I finally came down and saw them laying on the desk I couldn't believe it! The guard looked at me as if to say I told you! White roses? Me? I still couldn’t believe it. I was stunned. My friend said he wanted me to know that I was loved on this day of love! I thank God for him!

To all my followers who are feeling like that day, February 14th, Valentine's Day, A Day for Lovers, didn’t go the way you planned, or you didn’t get the gift you wanted. Pray about it, release it today and go tell your boyfriend/husband you love him.

Remember successful relationships take two people. Are you willing to risk unhappiness over this one day? I am pretty sure your boyfriend/husband shows you love on more occasions than you can count!

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4

Thank you for reading,

K. Lyte